The Mirror Project

I've just submitted the photo on the left to a site called The Mirror Project. The site encourages people to submit pictures of themselves reflected in objects. The picture on the left was taken at Lakeside at Frimley Green (UK residents may have heard of it as the home of the World Darts Championship!), and while walking round the water, noticed a large outside lamp resting on the ground.

Aware of the site, it was too good an opportunity to miss. Another good feature of the site is that people in the art world are approached to become "curators". Then, given a theme (e.g. "in the shower"), the curator collects together some chosen piccies depicting the theme. The gallery is then posted. Although the pictures submitted must be small, there are some really high quality shots. The site was recently nominated in the Webby Awards for the most notable web sites this year.

Time on your hands?

This is superb - the ultimate waste of space. Marvel at the effort that went in to producing so little. Compete with your friends, organise local tournaments .. the winner should feel extermely proud .. then get himself a proper job. Click here to try it.

Tell my why I don't like Mondays

Price Waterhouse Coopers Consulting are changing their name to Monday. They have created "introducingmonday.com". Shame they forgot to secure http://www.introducingmonday.co.uk/. What a laugh, needs sound to get the full benefit.

Partner's birthday coming up?

Get one of these little accessories, and watch her eyes light up. In fact have a cab waiting, with the motor running!

No way to earn a living

There are rotten jobs, and there are rotten jobs. The worst job I ever had was sat on a production line, watching baby food jars pile down the conveyor belt. The task was to inspect the lids of every jar that passed, 100s of thousands a day, and to pick out any where the lid was concave i.e. where the jar hadn't been sealed properly. All day, all week.

But that's nothing - check this guy out.

Celebrate Shakespeare and St George

I heard a thing today on Radio London that said today is Saint George's day, and also the birthday of William Shakespeare. A Quintessentially English combination, I think you'll agree. However according to the news reporter, Ken Livingston, the Mayor of London, has not dedicated any money to celebrating St George's Day. And yet, St Patrick's day was donated £100k to help fund the March, and the mass consumption of excessive alcohol.

I looked to see if this news story was covered elsewhere, and in the Observer, the exact same story was covered last year. The article goes on to suggest that as English, we are embarrassed to be so, in a way that the Scots, Welsh and Irish definitely aren't. Perhaps why, during a period where our nation is engaging in a war, why there is a notable absence of Union Flags, on banks, public buildings (town halls etc) and schools.

However, if you wish to address this forthwith, go to the England Wear site, and pick up fetching (if pikey) National attire, like the 'appealing' slip pictured.

Sphincter Boy

There's an excellent site set up to help you create your own superhero. Fans of Marvel and DC Comics can use the Hero Machine to construct their superhero, defining colours, weapons, and even body shape.

On the left you can see my lovingly created Sphincter Boy (click here for larger image), armed only with the deadly ability to render assailants unconscious merely by producing noxious gases at will.

Poll Fiddling

Every year FHM conducts a Sexiest Women poll, and encourage readers to vote online for the woman they fancy the most. However Andrea Corr shot up over 100 places in the last 24 hours, causing FHM site managers to clamp down on the voting. This was because a fan site encouraging visitors to vote for the youngest sister turned the whole affair into a frenzy.

The Cheapest Beers

A hilarious piece reviewing the cheapest beers that money can buy in the States. Has pictures of each beer, including the perennial Budweiser Tall Boy, pictured. Eloquently reviewed thus:

I am very drunk. This is the exact kind of thing I want. I just drank it while peeing, thinking to myself that the King of Beers was coming in and the Paupers of Beers were fleeing. That, of course, led to thoughts of why Communism has never taken a hold in the United States and I was just glad I was drinking American.

Girls and Guitars

Just when you consider all the world's problems, and how the minds of humans can be applied to create so much misery and destruction, it's great to know that there are people out there who worship the simple things in life.

The site shows many women of rock, playing guitar, including amongst others up-and-coming sk8ter girl Avril Lavigne (pictured right).

The Honda Advert

Honda's New Advert for the Accord shows a collection of car bits connected together in a delicately balanced machine. Each component of the car triggers some movement in another, culminating in them rolling the new Accord in front of a banner. You can see the advert in its entirety here.

This type of machine reminds me of the TV classic Take Hart, where every week the mad inventor Wilf Lunn would construct an elaborate machine in the style of the Mouse Trap game.

According to a Daily Telegraph article, there is no trick photography or computer graphics, all of the kinetic reactions are real, and the advert took 606 takes before filming could be wrapped up.

Introducing the new iToilet

For years, Apple has proudly manufactured slow, unreliable, stupid looking computers, and sold them at ridiculous prices.

And with the recent unveiling of the new iMac, Steve Jobs had an idea."I have an idea!" he said. "Since most folks seem to think our new iMac is just a really really expensive desk lamp, maybe we should start manufacturing household appliances!"

See it here

Germany Retains Marbles World Title

The 72nd World Marbles Championship was held in Sussex yesterday, and after keen competition, twenty teams were whittled down to one eventual winner, the retaining German victors. This only happened because the English challengers had way too much to drink, and allowed the alcohol to interfere with their judgement.

Ananova covers the story, with some choice quotes:

Championship spokeswoman Julia McCarthy-Fox said: "The British players have lost their marbles altogether. It was too much alcohol and not enough practise.

"They have had so much to drink they are not even too bothered at the moment. They are vowing to practise and win next year.

"If you put a lot of men in a pub environment and there is beer or marbles, what are they going to choose? they are going to choose the beer."

On Yer Bike!

Not long now .. on the 27th April, me and three others are attempting to cycle 70 miles in aid of the British Heart Foundation from Oxford to Birmingham as part of the The Bike Show Ride. Starting at Oxpen Meadows at 8am (!), we are hoping to end up at Birmingham's National Exhibition Centre within 5 or 6 hours.

In looking for team attire for the event, we went to the Pro Bike Kit site, and found the only jersey that self-respecting masochists should sport.. Birmingham should be aware that upon arrival, the four of us will be looking to wreak havoc in the town centre, purely as a warm-down exercise.

Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf

At last somebody has paid homage to the surreal and hilarious Iraqi Information Minister. Blessed with a creative mind, and access to a bank of microphones, proof indeed that anything is possible. Some of the killer quotes are:

"My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all"
"Our initial assessment is that they will all die"
"they are nowhere near the airport ..they are lost in the desert...they can not read a compass...they are retarded."
"I triple guarantee you, there are no American soldiers in Baghdad." .. and ..
"Britain is not worth an old shoe"

The site is excellent fun, but also gives you the opportunity to buy T-shirts, and the usual mugs and mouse mats etc.

Web Superstars

This week sees the issue of the Webby Awards, the set of the best Web sites, as selected by the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences. Split into 30 categories, including commerce, education, film and humor (sic), some great sites are picked out.

Our own BBC gets selected for a couple of categories (Community and Spirituality), although has been consistently excellent across the board, particularly noticed through sports events, when the play-by-play match tracking is excellent (e.g. Football and Cricket World Cups, Wimbledon).

There's some quirky stuff too. Check out Eric gets an Emotion, for a bizarre one.

Good to see that Music is well represented, with the excellent Flaming Lips site. Although not mentioned, I can also recommend the Audioslave site, for graphics, Flash and streamed music.

Titian at the National gallery

The National Gallery has been hosting a collection of the Venetian painter's work since 19/02/2003 and will continue to do so until 18-05-2003, so hurry. Hosted in the Sainsbury Wing (no product or brand placement there, then!), the gallery has spread his paintings across six large rooms, and the first thing that strikes you is just how many works there are.

If you go, I can recommend the audio commentary. Although not cheap at £3.50, on top of the entrance fee of £7 (and that was with with group discount applied), it explains how each of his paintings was conceived, and also where applicable, how he broke the rules. I didn't realise just how strict the form was for paintings until it was explained how daring he was to flaunt them.

Absolute Arts says of the exhibition:

‘Titian’ is the first in a series of three Renaissance exhibitions to be held at the National Gallery. It will be followed by ‘El Greco’ and ‘Raphael’ exhibitions in 2004. Titian was one of the giants of Renaissance art, whose revolutionary handling of surface and colour transformed the language of painting. This is the first major exhibition of his work to be held in the UK. An artist with a broad range, Titian’s work encompasses mythology, religion, landscape and portraiture, and deals with heroic actions and profound passions.

White Stripes out-selling Robbie

The band the music press are proclaiming "the world's best band" are currently outselling Robbie Williams with the release of their latest album Elephant, according to the NME this week.

Robbie's Album Escapology has sold steadily since its release, but has been usurped following the White Stripes album release last week, accompanied with some UK dates, most notably at Wolverhampton and Brixton.

A typical review sits on (of all places) the BBC site, and says:

And it's all so divinely confident, so f**k off sexy. In that sense it is better than the first three albums (which weren't exactly meek). Whatever they say in public I think this is a band which loves being loved, almost as much as they love making music - and they like that quite a lot.

Inaugural Posting

Welcome to the inaugural posting of Ain't Got No Spit.

If you're wondering where the name came from, it's a line from Jaws. Picture the scene: the three intrepid shark hunters are out at sea in their boat, and the Great White that's been terrorising Amity Beach is still out there. Hooper (played by Richard Dreyfus) is about to go down in a specially constructed reinforced steel cage, in order to be able to get close to the shark, and kill it. Furthermore, he is intending to fasten a profusely bleeding piece of meat to the cage, to entice the beast to take a closer look.

He has lowered the cage into the water, and having put his wetsuit on, he jumps into the water. All that remains to don is his diving mask, and in order to keep the visor from steaming up, divers tend to spit on the inside of the glass mask. He tries to do this, but looks up at the other two, and with a semi-apologetic shrug, and his voice trembling, tries to lighten the moment with the words "Ain't got no spit"

Whilst not the line in the film that everyone remembers, I love it, because the tension and the nerves are building, and getting in the water with a shark capable of severely bending this custom-built cage (as it goes on to prove) is foolhardy in the least.

I hope to post regular thoughts and musings, as well as interesting stuff that comes up from the web.