Germany Retains Marbles World Title

The 72nd World Marbles Championship was held in Sussex yesterday, and after keen competition, twenty teams were whittled down to one eventual winner, the retaining German victors. This only happened because the English challengers had way too much to drink, and allowed the alcohol to interfere with their judgement.

Ananova covers the story, with some choice quotes:

Championship spokeswoman Julia McCarthy-Fox said: "The British players have lost their marbles altogether. It was too much alcohol and not enough practise.

"They have had so much to drink they are not even too bothered at the moment. They are vowing to practise and win next year.

"If you put a lot of men in a pub environment and there is beer or marbles, what are they going to choose? they are going to choose the beer."