Poncey Beers

This has go to stop ..

You see, the thing about beer is this: we all know it's uncool, makes you fat, belch and smell. The nearest it gets to cool is that Homer Simpson loves it and drinks it to excess. It's not a designer drink, it's not a style icon (like the iPod, below). It's uncool.

In the 90's, it was bad enough when they invented the Ice range of beers, to somehow make beer seem a bit more "yoof". It meant that spotty lads could drink designer bottles, at 150% the price of a pint, and not feel too disconnected from their ladeez, who were supping Alco-pops, also at ridiculous prices.

Fortunately, these beers declined, and there has been a resurgence in regular beers, with real ale regaining popularity.

It was surely only a matter of time before the large brewers sought another means of earning massive margins, and here it is:

"beermaker Anheuser-Busch Cos. is launching a new "brew" to go head-to-head with classic mixed drinks - traditional suds spiked with caffeine, fruit flavoring, herbal guarana and ginseng. The world's largest brewer's nationwide rollout this week of B-to-the-E - the "B" standing for beer, the "E" for something "extra" and shown as an exponent of B - came as beermakers look to piggyback strides liquor companies have made in luring .... active 21- to 27-year-old experimenters looking for new tastes and options."

We need to reclaim beer as the drink of the great unwashed, in the domain of the masses, who are not interested in being cool. This has got to stop.

Showing Apple who's boss

You may remember my article before, describing how Apple are being taken to court, because any songs downloaded from iTunes can only be played on their iPod MP3 player.

Well, now there's a progam called Jhymn, which can remove the protection, which is electronically coded into each song. This will mean your tunes are now free to play on any player, exactly as they should be.

(via Boing Boing).

Vote for Brits

There's a section in this year's Brit Awards for everyone to vote for your favourite songs. But the most interesting category is the "Best song in the last 25 years". The Nominees include:

1. Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division
2. Angels - Robbie Williams
3. We Are The Champions - Queen
4. Wuthering Heights - Kate Bush
5. Leave Right Now - Will Young

It is fairly well known that the Robbie and Will Young fan clubs are mobilised to vote for their heroes, but we can't have that. I'm not sure the shortlist is very representative of the best songs, but let's wipe the smiles of their faces by ensuring that Joy Division win, just to help safeguard homegrown non-manufactured artists,and great music. (Thanks Sion)

The Thought Project

Simon Hogsberg's The Thought Project:

Over a period of 3 months I stopped 150 strangers on the street and asked them what they were thinking about the second before I stopped them. Using a mic and a dictaphone I recorded what they told me, then took a picture of them.

The Whole Story?

Sometimes a picture doesn't tell the whole story!

(Via Kukla).

Derren Brown

"Derren has an amazing ability to put ideas into people's heads. Is this a trick or can he really control what they're thinking about? Could he control your thoughts?".

You can find out for yourself by trying out these tests.

Latest Trend

These skirts are the latest trend in Japan. They're not actually see-through, they just have a print on them which appears as if they are see through. How cool are they? See them all here, here, here, here and here.

(Via discosindy).

Life Saver?

Ever got home, and just put your keys, phone and other small items down, only to forget where you put them? Over the last few months, the government have been running campaigns to increase public awareness on the dangers of house fires. One of the adverts shows a person waking up in a smoke-filled house and rushing downstairs. When they get there, the lighting doesn't work because of the fire, so it's pitch black, there's smoke everywhere, and she can't find her keys to let herself out of her house.

"This super-handy MagicPad is just what you need to make sure you never lose track of your valuables – it’s like a landing pad for things you never want to lose. Stick it to any surface (even vertically), then simply put things like your keys, mobiles, pens on it and the next time you need to use them, you can be guaranteed they’ll be right where you left them."

(via Boing Boing)

Beer can prevent cancer!

Some cancers are caused by amines, which are chemicals found in cooked meat and fish. These amines damage DNA in the major organs of the body. During experiments on mice, this effect was reduced by 85%, if the mice tested had drunk low-alcohol beer beforehand.

Scientists have not identified the substance yet which prevents the cancer damage happening, but are hopeful they can isolate it, and encourage brewers to include it in larger amounts. So says the New Scientist.

(Via Dave Barry).

Film Review: Closer

If you want a film with hard-hitting honesty, larger than life (but real) characters, and a sharp intelligent script, then this is the film for you. As an adaptation of a stage play, it really feels that way, in that the although the dialogue has that slightly unrealistic rhythm about it, it contains some of the sharpest exchanges you'll see all year.

The movie begins with chance meetings of four individuals, and follows a turbulent four years or so of their lives, involving marriages, affairs, and a fair amount of unhappiness. This is not a melancholy movie though. There are some pointedly witty passages in it, and a fair amount of brutally honest adult conversations. Unlike a lot of movies, it doesn't deign to spell out every nuance and hand-hold the audience - it gives plenty of room for thought in each scene, without assuming the viewer can't catch up.

Mike Nicholls transfers the play to film well; it's an assured display, and the opening and closing scenes are stunning, and set the tone on the whole movie. The four main characters put in strong performances, but the tours de force are Natalie Portman and Clive Owen, who steal every scene, and seem to fill the screen. That's not to say that Jude Law and Julia Roberts don't do a good job: Law is acting out of his skin, but can only reproduce some of the saucy Londoner he delivers in Alfie, whereas Julia Roberts does herself a favour by underacting for once in an understated role. It's more that Owen's boorish doctor, and Portman's beguiling stripper are the most interesting characters, and have the most to say for themselves.

At times uncomfortable viewing, other times funny, Closer is always compelling, and entertains throughout. Recommended. 7.5/10

Check Your Speeding Fines

There's a really great site for checking if your car has been photographed for speeding. It is also used by insurance companies, so be careful if you change your own insurance.Check it here.

The username is: The password is:

Tiger Parrot

Grumpy Old Men

This is news of a ridiculous story recently between Arsene Wenger the Arsenal football manager, and Sir Alex Ferguson, the Manchester United manager. Read the diary of what's happened between them historically, but today the FA got the chairmen of both clubs together, and issued a statement saying that both clubs would try to improve their behaviour.

When I think about recent manager ructions in the past, there have been a few: Alex Ferguson and Kevin Keegan, Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger, Alex Ferguson and Jose Morenho .. hang on, is there a pattern forming here? The Manchester United manager has long been known for his gamesmanship, and over the years has managed to wind up a few of the game's principal characters.

What is more surprising is that he has managed to ruffle Arsene Wenger's feathers. Throughout all campaigns, one suspects that the exchanges have only ended up frustrating Alex more - Arsene has remained calm, and almost professorial throughout. This time he looks really upset.

But why, I wonder? there's clearly more to it. True, Arsenal were unbeaten in a whole season, and then a couple of months beyond that, and were playing glorious football. True, they never looked like being beaten. But they no longer look the force they once were, since their run was spoilt by Man Utd back in November. Something happened inside each of their heads .. since then they have been held to a draw by West Brom, Palace, and Southampton, teams everyone would have expected them to do better against.

So, what's eating Arsene? Is it the fact that they are now (relatively) ordinary, and no longer appear to offer a threat to Morenho's Premiership assault, or is it the fact that the person who helped bring about the decline is his nemesis, Alex Ferguson?

Film Review: The Aviator

From the beginning of the Aviator, we are dragged into a world of glitz and glamour, an almost colourised black and white world of flashbulbs, excess and celebrity. The music, the costumes, the scenery all perfectly place us, and at the centre of it all is Howard Hughes, fearlessly consuming life and money, making movies, advancing aviation and bedding the whole of Hollywood. He makes no excuses, he accepts no obstacles, and his drive for excellence is unquenched. DiCaprio plays the youthful exuberance of Hughes well, his hallmark natural boyish charm fitting the mould perfectly.

In the midst of this he has many romances, but most notable is his relationship with Katharine Hepburn, who, while brilliantly portrayed by Cate Blanchett is presented as a bit of a caricature. The scene where she takes Howard to meet her parents is a triumph in terms of script and more particularly editing. In fact, the technical side is where this film excels, the colours, the mood, the cinematography and the score all create the perfect context.

Where this film lets itself down slightly is that it doesn't go anywhere. It describes a 20year period in Hughes' life, but the passage of time is inadequately conveyed. DiCaprio fails only in this respect: he physically does not fit the part, plus the script does not convey the mental journey that Hughes travels in that time, particularly in handling his increasing obsessive-compulsive behaviour, and how it affects him.

Alan Alda is masterfully understated in his role as the ambitious politician Senator Brewster, a man who fatally overreaches; he underestimates his adversary Hughes, as he drags him into court for an Open Senate Hearing on charges of misappropriation. Disbelief needs to be suspended here, as Hughes, whom two days before needed to be rescued, washed and shaved by Eva Gardner (ably played by Kate Beckinsale), turns up in court as hero reelect. While this is an exhilerating scene, the miraculous mental transformation begs a bit much of the viewer.

DiCaprio stretches himself, while the supporting cast (the outstanding Blanchett and Alda aside) are dependable. Coupled with the perfect look and feel of the time, and an occasionally dazzling script, this will feature strongly in the Oscar ceremony, and while a bit too long remains a swashbuckling ride. 7/10

Terragen

Terragen is a scenery generator, created with the goal of generating photorealistic landscape images and animations. It is available for Windows and the Mac OS. At this stage in its development, Terragen is free for personal, noncommercial use.

Check out the galleries, they are fantastic, considering a program made them.

(Via del.icio.us).

The Drunken Olympics of Shame

Shamings .. those pictures of our mates, taken when they are nearly unconscious, and after we have mutilated them with whatever we could find. Plenty of pics here. The description:

Welcome to Shamings.com. Think of us as a museum of drunken defacement. The Olympics of drunken embarrassment. We showcase pictures (and accompanying stories) of you and your friends’ best efforts at shaming each other and put it out there for everybody to judge.

(Via del.icio.us).

Soople

It's Google, but made easy. There are all sorts of different ways of searching using Google, and this site offers a really good way of accessing them all. It's a student's research dream.

The author describes his philosophy:

Soople is an early English dialect, which means 'to soften, make supple'. That's exactly what I envisioned for this site ; a site that softens all the fantastic (advanced) functions Google offers. Initially I made this site for my mother, who, though computer-savvy, still didn't know about all the possibilities Google offers. This site is therefore meant for all those who are not yet familiar with all the functions and required syntaxes. This way Soople enables an 'easy expert search'! (Via Bibi's Box)

Parking Battle of the Sexes

Fancy establishing, once and for all, who is the better at parking a car in a tight space? Well now you can play this little game.

I warn you, it's not that easy, and there are 3 levels. Post your scores in the comments link below, so I can see how you did. (Via Amanda)

Awesome Origami

Now, I know that Origami has featured quite a lot of late, but check these out, they are some of the best models I've ever seen. The page provides crease patterns for the models, but you'd have to know what you were looking at to reproduce them.

I wouldn't know where to start. (Via J-Walk)

Basket Case

This is an insane video clip, watch for yourself here.

Policeman in fancy dress Shocker

There is a great story in icWales today suggesting that fancy dress could reduce the levels of drunken violence in city centres.

Insp Roly Schwarz, in charge of policing in Rhyl, suggested that if police organised fancy dress competitions, and awarded prizes for the best costume, that revellers would be less likely to end up fighting in pubs, kebab shops and taxi ranks.

The report goes on to say that North Wales police have distanced themselves from the radical move! I should Coco! (pictured)

Golden Balls

The Brits had a fantastic night at the Golden Globes the other night, says filmlondon. Clive Owen won a best supporting actor for his role in Closer, and Ian McShane won TV Drama Actor award for his role in the Western drama Deadwood.

On top of that, Annete Bening won "Best actress in a musical/comedy" playing a British stage diva in Being Julia, and Geoffrey Rush won "Best Actor in a TV film" for his role in the British funded and produced The Life and Death of Peter Sellers biopic.

Mick Jagger, along with former Eurythmics man Dave Stewart, also picked up an award for best song from London remake Alfie.

But British hopefuls Kate Winslet and Imelda Staunton, who had lead actress nominations for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Vera Drake respectively, left empty handed. Let's hope they do better in the Oscars.

Diet Chardonnay, anyone?

Take a perfectly good pint of beer, remove all the alcohol, and you're left with something fairly undrinkable, although a shame free way to drink beer if you're driving. It's low in alcohol, and low in carbs too.

Well, the Daily Express today ran the story about Brown-Forman, a large Californian Wine and Spirits manufacturer, who have reduced the carbs, without removing the alcohol. The Enquirer reported on it back in May. The name of these wines (pictured left) is One.6 Chardonnay and One.9 Merlot, so called because a standard 5oz glass contains 1.6 and 1.9 calories respectively. Forman-Brown describe its Merlot as "medium-bodied with bright blueberry aromas and smooth spicy flavors with hints of blackberry and cherry fruit".

An article on Wine Lovers suggests that all white whine is essentially a low-carb drink, and goes on to state that although people on the Atkins diet may be attracted to this wine, Atkins himself spurns all alcohol. He says:

"Here's the problem with all alcoholic beverages, and the reason I recommend refraining from alcohol consumption on the diet. Alcohol, whenever taken in, is the first fuel to burn. While that's going on, your body will not burn fat. This does not stop the weight loss, it simply postpones it, since the alcohol does not store as glycogen, you immediately go back into ketosis/lipolysis after the alcohol is used up

(Not) Wired For Sound

I went to a HP seminar today about accessing data on the move, and I found out that there are over 10,000 wi-fi spots in the UK already. So I decided to see if there were any wi-fi spots where I work, in Guildford, Surrey. I used the JiFi site, and found that there are 19 spots in the centre of Guildford! This means that you can rock up with your laptop computer, with wireless card, and for a small tariff, access Broadband speed internet or collect emails with no bother at all.

One of the delegates described his experience. He said that McDonald's 'restaurants' have over 500 WiFi sites (here's silicon.com's take on it). Apparently, although it's not advertised, you turn up and buy a scratch card for a nominal fee over the counter. Once you power up your laptop, your card detects the WiFi spot, you enter the code on the scratch card, and you're away; that simple! He said that all the time he's been in McDonald's, there's been nobody else using the service, and he's had access to the full 2mb/second bandwidth .. surely we now have one good reason to go there (apart from the 18 other Guildford sites).

Tobby

The chaps at Toshiba have come up with this really addictive game called Tobby. Its a sort of platform game where you have to move Tobby the dog up through the screens so that he can rescue his stolen lover.

Anyway, naff storyline aside, this is difficult to leave once you get started. It's a Shockwave game, so no downloads required.

Corporate BS Generator

One of the funniest things I've seen in ages, the Corporate BS Generator will, at the click of a button generate some mindless corporate speak. The essential executive toy.

Banana Guard

Just when you thought everything that could possibly have been invented, had already been invented:

"Are you fed up with taking bananas to work or school only to find them bruised and squashed? This unique, patented device allows for the safe transport and storage of individual bananas letting you enjoy perfect bananas anytime, anywhere."

"The BananaGuard is specially designed to fit the vast majority of bananas. Its other features include multiple small perforations to facilitate ventilation thereby preventing premature ripening and a sturdy locking mechanism to keep the BananaGuard closed. The BananaGuard is of course dishwasher safe for easy cleaning."

Bling Ring

Want to make your phone look completely chavvy, and 'urban'? Go for these bling phone decorations - using real Swarovski crystals, you can make your phone stand out at the next Car Boot Sale.

Toilygraph

Here's a site where this guy (Adrian Rodriguez) drips coloured paint into his toilet bowl, swirls it up a bit, then photographs it - they're actually quite interesting. He calls it his Toilygraph, and describes himself as the photography Pablo Picasso of the potty.

(Via Burp).

Cardboard Chairs

Following my link yesterday to Origami CD Covers, here's a link to a place where you can make sturdy chairs out of a cardboard box.

Minty MP3 Player

While at (via Kukla's), I found this project that describes how you can build an MP3 player in an Altoid's mint tin. I suppose the music to go best with that would be the excellent Lampchop? (Want a second opinion?)

Cooking By Numbers

Here's a great site for those who can't work out what to cook with what they have at home. You tick the things that you have both in your fridge and your cupboard, and it searches for recipes that contain those items - a student's delight.(via Kukla).

There is a similar site at Star Recipe Search where you can list a few key ingredients, and searches celebrity chefs' recipes.

Rock Legend Earns 14p Busking

This story from ananova tells of the day that Rock Legend Rick Wakeman busked for half an hour in the centre of York, and earned just 14p.

The former keyboard player with Yes, and writer of over 30 solo albums has in his past filled Madison Square Gardens 5 nights in a row, but couldn't inspire his Yorkshire audience.

He was taking part in a BBC documentary about a new scheme in York to audition buskers before they are set loose on an unsuspecting public. He was, of course, heavily disguised.

Jamaican triathlon

On the Puma site, you can play this excellent Puma Triathlon game. Move your cursor as quickly as you can, and get your best time in running, cycling and swimming. Mine was about a minute total. Let me know how you did.

Origami CD Cases

Here's a cool idea. There's a site where you can make Origami CD cases out of one sheet of A4. You can then print them out and follow the folding instructions to make the case.

Better still, there is a basic form where you can enter the album details, and it will print them out on the case too. You can even search for the artist or album title, and import them into the form. I've made a few.. they're really good.

We are not amused

The thisislondon site reports today that Prince Harry has provoked outrage after being pictured dressed as a Nazi soldier at a fancy dress party. The story broke in The Sun newspaper, which describes how Harry attended the party in Wiltshire dressed in the desert uniform of Rommel's German Afrika Korps. The Sun, of course, takes a typically forthright view in it's Sun says column.

A week after he was photographed with his brother helping the Red Cross with tsunami aid packaging he makes this regrettable gaffe. This isn't the first time Harry has attracted media attention. Back in October, he was involved in a nightclub fracas, when he had a scuffle with a photographer. He managed to escape without a caution on that occasion.

While it must be a pressure having to mind your p's and q's, there's no shortage of royal embarrassment. The Queen this morning is reported to have stated, at a palace reception, that she thought Londoners didn't really support the London Olympic bid, and that she thought Paris would win it! But this is nothing compared to Prince Philip's handsome collection of inexcusable gaffes, including the time he asked a Scottish driving instructor: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?" Classic.

Virtual Keyboard

This cool device is the ultimate in portable computing accessories. It uses custom laser technology to project a keyboard onto a flat surface, and it detects where you put your fingers.

This will be particularly useful for owners of PDAs who don't want to lug big keyboards around with them, and it can also be used on mobile phones to help key text messages or emails more rapidly. The whole unit is only the size of a disposable lighter, and connects to devices by USB, Infrared or Bluetooth. You can find a more detailed spec here.

(Via bifurcated rivets)

I Look Like My Dog

Thanks to Ganns Letter, I found this link. It depicts the winners of the recent "I look like my dog" competition run by dog food manufacturer Cesar.

GMTV ran a similar viewer competition, and have posted a few pictures here. There are also some celebrity pet look-alikes here and here.

Outside of people and their pets, I found an excellent football equivalent on the football365 site, of famous people and similar looking footie players.

Like Riddles?

Try this one for size:

You are in an empty room and you have a transparent glass of water. The glass is a right cylinder, and it looks like it's half full, but you're not sure. How can you accurately figure out whether the glass is half full, more than half full, or less than half full? You have no rulers or writing utensils.

Apparently this one is classified as an "easy". Hope you can solve it. You can find hundreds more at this riddle site.

If you really cannot work out the answer, you can find it here. (via del.icio.us)

Top Names of 2005

The BBC published a list last Friday of the top 10 pop names of 2004 and of 2005, those acts that it thinks are going to make names for themselves this year. The list was compiled by 110 impartial critics and broadcasters, so is pretty representative. It is:

The Bravery Bloc Party Kano The Game Kaiser Chiefs KT Tunstall The Dead 60s The Dears Tom Vek The Magic Numbers

You can see Tom Vek in January/February at these dates, and you can see the Dead 60s, the Bravery and the Magic Numbers during the NME Awards Shows at the London Astoria in February.

Latte Art Collection

We had the woman who saw the image of the Virgin Mary in her piece of toast, then managed to sell it on eBay for a fortune, and the bottle of wine with the image of the Virgin Mary in it too.. Well, how about this little collection of art in coffee cups, made with the foam on top. Pretty cool, huh?

Bet I can guess what you're going to do next time to go to Starbucks or wherever you get your caffeine hit.

(via Screenhead)

Are you the next Karate Kid?

Do you remember in the Karate Kid movie, the old teacher, Mr Miyagi sits down with his young prodigy, and he demonstrates his control by catching a fly with his chopstick?

Well, now you can have a go in this game. Maybe you can do better than me; I only caught 12 flies on my first go. Not easy.

Face Analyser

There is a completely free Face Analyser on the web. You post photos of yourself to it, and it then profiles your personality traits. Obviously a bit of fun.

I posted my photo to it, and it gave this response.

(Via Bibi's Box)

A Sporting Chance?

On the eve of the World Darts final, held at the Lakeside complex at Frimley Green, I hear that the British Darts Association (BDO), are looking to get Darts recognised as a sport. As this article reveals, they have renewed their application to Sport England, who are the body who get the final say. This time though, following several refusals, they have recruited a set of lawyers to help them, along with a sports injury specialist who has experience of 'over-use' injuries that darts can cause.

I just watched the semi-final between Simon Whitlock and Martin Adams, and noticed that Martin was wearing a pedometer on his belt, to provide statistics for the BDO on how much a player walks around in the week of the final. This is presumably to convey the effort involved in playing top-level darts. Fantastic.

Rob Bonnet on the BBC posted an article suggesting that darts should not be considered a sport. Then Bobby George, the darts world's King of Bling, posted a comeback article arguing that is is a sport. A couple of weeks ago, somebody on Radio Five Live joked that a game should not be classified as a sport if you can smoke throughout! What's your view? Post a comment (link below).

Naming Your Baby

I was talking to a friend today about baby names, and happened to see a reference to the very same. The Think Baby Names site has an encyclopaedia of over 4000 names, their meanings and their history.

Better still, it also hosts information based on National statistics. This means that not only can you look at the top 100 names in Britain, the US and Sweden, but you can click on a single name, and view its popularity over history in these countries.

It's also amusing to look at the lists and see the Chavvy names that are becoming popular in the UK.

For Boys: Tyler, Ellis, Kai, Mason and Kyle

For girls: Aaliyah, Tegan, Morgan, Madison, Paige, Summer, Tia, Amber etc etc

But the indecisive parent can get help with this subject, there are some good books. There's the Best Baby Name Book, and Simply the Best Baby Name Book , although they both clearly need to negotiate which one is actually the best. And finally, (pictured above), there's the humourously titled O'Baby, the book of Irish names.

(via J-Walk).

Blog Roll?

I wipe my hands of this one.

It's Cool for Cats

Not content that your pet cat is different enough from the other cats in the neighbourhood? Think he or she needs a little sprucing up? You can now refit your favourite pet from head to toe at this tailor for cats (via Dave Barry's blog).

As if that didn't seem quite crazy enough, here's what the tailors themselves advise you do:

1. Dress her up. Cheer or yell, do whatever you like to enjoy the moment with your family.
2. After you are enough with your joy, take a photo! Take some poses and leave her some cute photos!
3. Remove her clothes and give her a hub, say "Thank you!"

A hub? Probably a loving combination of hug and rub, I imagine.

Apple sued over monopoly practices

It appears that following my previous article about Apple charging too much for its music downloads on iTunes, one user has had enough. According to the BBC, he is taking Apple to court, because its iTunes software won't permit playing tunes on any MP3 player other than the iPod.

It is said that this practise is anti-competitive, and is turning an open music standard into a proprietary medium. Apple does this by using technology embedded in each song that prevents it being played on any other platform (apart from the PC itself, of course).

Californian Thomas Slattery has filed his case via the US District Court in San Jose, and calls himself an iTunes customer who "was also forced to purchase an Apple iPod" if he wanted to take his music with him to listen to".

As with all large companies, they become successful doing things their way, which by definition is not what everybody else is doing. The times, they are a-changing: customers are no longer prepared to let corporates dictate how they should use their products; it is ok to do things your way, provided you still allow me to be flexible my way. Apple, Microsoft, Sony et al: take note.

ITV is rubbish .. discuss

I read in Private Eye today that Television's viewing figures have declined by 1.5 million, lost presumably to Playstations, DVDs etc. So what's happening with those that are still watching? There was bad news for the terrestrial channels this Christmas, as for the first time ever, BBC1 and ITV1’s combined share of the television audience fell below 50 per cent, with BBC1 winning a 27.2 per cent share, compared with just 22 per cent for ITV1 (via the Scotsman).

More significantly, as Inside TV points out, ITV still remains the only mainstream channel incapable of 24 hour broadcasting. It was once a strong set of regional companies making local broadcasting; now this fragmentation makes it weak against its opposition. So what are ITV pinning their hopes on in the future? Well, it needs to buy out GMTV, which although currently successful, is not wholly owned by them; it needs to become purely digital (its analogue programming agreement means it is obliged to show 'public interest' programming); it needs to extend to 24 hour programming to compete further.

But what of the programming? In the midst of reality TV taking over our networks, what are the big two doing about it? Well, the BBC has had to become slightly more highbrow to justify the license fee, while ITV has plummeted into chav-dom. A proliferation of digital channels offers watered-down programming - cheap make-over, cookery, lifestyle, fly-on-the-wall and reality programmes. These are cheap (in both senses of the word), and allow ITV to compete with all the other non-BBC digital channels. "I'm a Celebrity's Big Brother Going Life-Laundry Mad in the Property-Ladder Antique-Auction Swap in the Sun" is surely the only combination of programming that hasn't been thrown at the largely undemanding British public. Too much in-yer-face branding is only helping to cheapen the general offering: permanent on-screen logos in the corner reminding you that you're watching "UK-Sad+1", or that "today's Neighbour Swap was sponsored by Burberry" don't make the experience feel a luxury one.

These initiatives spell disaster for me - GMTV is currently successful; with ITV's recent record, they can only ruin it. Becoming purely digital means it is no longer obliged to make 'serious' programming in the public interest, and 24 hour broadcasting means filling larger gaps with cheap muck. When I was a kid, before the onset of millions of channels, you were either an ITV household, or a BBC one (honest, this really happened). Now it will become BBC or all-the-rest-of-the-homologous-filth.

In the words of Paul Weller .. "The public want what the public get" .. might be on to something there.

Weebl and Bob

I haven't been to this site for a while, and it's all-new improved etc, with there's plenty of new cartoons of them, including this one (shown left) of Ancient Greece.

If anybody has seen the adverts for Anchor Spreadable butter in the UK, they are made by the guy who's behind Weebl and Bob, Jonti Picking. Check here for additional toons.

Childish, immature, pointless .. and very funny. Long may they continue.

One I made earlier

Ok, ok, not that clever in itself, but the site it was made on is brilliant. It's the Flower Generator on Ze Frank's page, and it's great fun. Incidentally if you want to see the flower loaded up, it's called topaz. Yeah, I know.. whatever.

You can then go into the Bouquet Maker page, and build a garden, which includes your flowers. When you're happy, send it to somebody.

Actually I have no idea who Ze Frank is, but his homepage is excellent, and some of the videos are hilarious (in the Stuff to Watch column), such as new year, and therapy

Trolleyology

This is an American term describing the ways that supermarkets get you to spend more money. From the simple things such as placing things at eye-level, to putting everyday goods (such as bread and milk) at the back of the store, so that the customer has to walk past more profitable goods, they've got you as soon as you walk in. This is explained in more detail on the 4 Money site and in this Allsands article.

There's some crafty additional techniques though; like putting a central aisle up the length of the shop - this means they double their aisle ends, and these are where all the targetted high volume goods are. There are two golden rules to surviving the post-Christmas sales: never shop on an empty stomach and never shop on an empty head. Concentration is key. See this Telegraph article for more of the same (via JWalk).

And in case you though this was just marketeering, there's obviously some science behind this - read some of the studies and watch some videos at the University of Illinois' Food and Brand Lab, particularly the experiment with Soup signs ("How signs make you buy more"). The BBC have their own take on it in this video.

Get Firefox

Ok, so this is geeky. I had my little rant about the European Commission's proposal to patent software, and how I thought it would kill Open Source. I also cited Mozilla's excellent Firefox browser in the article. Well, I've been using it since its launch, and it's quicker than Internet Explorer, and doesn't cram in features you don't need: it does the simple stuff well.

I've been reading about it, and I saw a link in JWalk to a guy called Blake Ross, who is a Firefox developer, and he runs a blog with an insider's view. Best of all, he links to a great article from PCWorld about why Firefox is great software and a great idea.

Ok, it's not rock 'n' roll, so I'm going to move on. Open Source will save us from the corporates, will encourage the Community that is at the heart of the internet, and will ensure the customer gets what they want.

Nuff said.

Book Review: Yann Martel - "Life of Pi"

We are introduced to a young man call Pi Patel, whose father owns a zoo. During the early part of the book, Pi searches for the answers to life, and through his questioning ends up a practising Hindu, Christian and Muslim. This section of the book is whimsical, with Pi's charm winning over everybody, the reader included. This spirit will stand him in good stead for what happens later.

When his father sells the zoo, they board a ship bound for Canada, which becomes wrecked. In the sinking, his family and most of the zoo animals perish, although he manages to find himself on a lifeboat, with only a zebra, a hyena, an orangutang and a 450 pound Bengal Tiger, called Richard Parker, for company. What follows is much darker than the beginning, with Pi trying desperately to survive, and to not become prey to any of the animals himself.

Yes, the story is unbelievable, but then it's not really about what happens - given the chance to tell his story after the event, he tells it two ways, challenging the reader to question whether any of what he has read is true. This story is more about about how possessing imagination, and an unquenchable spirit for life, can conquer our greatest enemies: loneliness, starvation, fear, sadness and loss. It also questions how much any of his adopted religions actually help him, when he all but abandons his spiritual and moral beliefs in order to survive.

Some of the passages in the book are a bit slow, and at the beginning it is a little difficult to get started, but the story more than rewards. This book won the Man Booker Prize; for me it doesn't rival the previous winner that I read, Vernon God Little, but remains an imaginative, thought-provoking, spirited read nevertheless. 7/10

You can buy the book here.

In Recognition of Recognition

I was reading New Scientist web site, and looking at the top 10 news stories of the year, and I noticed that one highlighted the rise of recognition software.

If you are lost in a big city, or are late for a meeting, and you don't know where you are, you can take a picture with your mobile phone, and text it to a remote server. Software will then attempt to match the picture with images in their database, and inform you where you are. Spooky, huh? Click here to see how it's done. It can place you to within 1 metre of where you are standing, which is better than GPS systems, which can only resolve position down to 10 metres currently.

Recognition is largely down to matching patterns with those that you have seen before. Since computers are very good at analysing patterns (as in the case of vector recognition, above), and using mathematical analyses, there has been more and more of this technology in abundance. Another story on the same site describes how a piece of software can automatically caption your photos, by listening to the way people discuss them. HP have developed software which records you and your friends talking about your photos, analyses them on a computer, then produces captions for the photos. Over time, the details are the things that are missing from photos - memories fade, and the names of individuals and places get hazy. This software can help permamently describe a picture.

It's true though - if you hand your holiday photos to a friend, unless you are around to describe each picture, the shot usually has no meaning. It is those descriptions that bring the image alive, not just the contents of the shot, but the events that happened before and after it was taken.

Music has not escaped the realms of pattern recognition either. Ever heard a tune you liked, but just never knew who recorded it, or just plain forgot? In the UK, you can contact Shazam Entertainment on 2580, hold your phone close to the source of the music for 30 seconds, and a remote server texts you the name of the track with the artist. Pretty cool.

And finally, OCR (Optical Character Recognition) is not new, but Sun have developed a handwriting recognition software, which apart from being a cool toy, could also assist forensic analysis of handwriting in criminal investigations.

Curry a cure for Alzheimer's Disease?

As much as I don't feel the need to promote the miracle that is curry any more than I already do, I read today in the Hindustan Times that a substance found in curry can prevent the onset of Alzheimer's Disease.

Alzheimer's is a progressive brain disorder that destroys a person's memory and ability to learn, reason, make judgments, communicate and carry out daily activities. It mainly affects people in the over 65 group, with the chances of someone suffering from it rising to 50 percent by the age of 85. It is caused by plaques or tangles of protein in or outside brain cells that build up over time. You can find out more about Alzheimer's at the Alzheimer's Association.

The substance curcumin, which gives curry its yellow pigment, was found by researchers at California University to inhibit the onset of these protein build-ups at least as effectively as other drugs already used to treat Alzheimer's. You can find out about California Uni's research into Brain Aging and Dementia here.